sorry for this moving blog but at least now it looks comprehensible

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* My mood ring says :ECSTATIC! *

I find this completely bizarre. A) i think it's creepy to pledge anything to do with your sex life to your father and B) I think it's wrong to pressure a young girl who at the time may want to make a commitment, but a few years down the road may want to change her mind. I think at that age you aren't in the right of mind to be making pledges like that, that's why we don't let 13 year olds get married, why pressure them to make this kind of a pledge? I think it's very wrong. Sex is a personal choice and should be kept that way.

Esse Quam Videri

I think that the girls will get a very unhealthy idea about sex. And it's just plain creepy imo.

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* My mood ring says :ECSTATIC! *

Tiny bit creepy to me too...ick!

Sure, make a 'promise' to your dad to be pure, whatever. He can even buy you a nice ring. But to go to the length of dropping mad money on a BALL with a reception and a nice dress and yadda yadda, thats just odd.

Creepy and as studies have shown..vaginal sex by teens down but anal and oral up..they found loop "holes" to their contract agreements. Hopefully Daddy won't ask for the ring back..

I would have been the daughter that walked in one day and flipped the ring to him while he was watching football. "Won't be needing this anymore Pops!" Just kidding!

LOL IMA! I wouldn't have said anything and I would have demanded a bigger ring hahaha

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* My mood ring says :ECSTATIC! *

I just read the entire article, and it really shocks me. I find it very concerning that in the USA there's such an emphasis on abstinence as a way to avoid pregnancy or STD's. IMO, and don't shoot me because of it, it would be better to teach kids about the possible dangers and how to avoid them (contraceptives, condoms,..). That way, they have the info they need to really make their OWN decision.

IMA!!

ITA fashion doll. To spread knowledge should be the primary concern. Nowadays kids don't even consider oral sex, real sex anymore...

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* My mood ring says :ECSTATIC! *

it's very creepy. at 13, i had no idea about boys, sex, etc. i don't think it would have been a good choice for me to make that kind of a pledge.

::the platypus is proof that god has a sense of humor::

i would have been like no sex till marriage? Can I get married next week? No? Then you better take this gold ring and replace it with a 2 carat diamond platnium ring Pops! That will get ya maybe till my 18th birthday! Maybe... i don't think I would have held out that long since I fell in love at 15 and dated him for 10 years.. I would have pawned the ring for money for contraceptives and a hotel room. LOL!

In Belgium, the focus is primarily on protection, through education as well as through national campagins promoting the use of condoms. But with what I hear and read about how USA government stands on this, I don't think they would approve of 'our way too handle things'. They seem to have this idea that education will encourage kids to have sex sooner?

The religious groups are taking the country back to the 50's. It's scary actually.

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* My mood ring says :ECSTATIC! *

For a country that prides itself on freedom..we seem to use fear quite often to cotrol behavior. Just something I have been noticing more and more..

Ugh, that's sick! Very "Joe-Jessica Simpson", if you ask me. I'd pledge NOTHING of a sexual nature to my father (or my mother, for that matter). What the hell for? If you want to remain a virgin or fuçk 10 guys a week, do it for yourself...not a freaking blood-relative.

LOL Tor..10 a week in high school would wither make you reeeeeeeeeally popular or a professional!! But I get your point!

Oh tor, it sounds sooooo beautiful the way you say it
You're a real aren't you?

AMEN TOR!

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* My mood ring says :ECSTATIC! *

Hell, if I had taken a crazy pledge like that, I should've been married years ago

I agree, its creepy. Agree that the words pledging your virginity to your Dad is creepy. Agree, some of these girls are too young to be making the decision, and they find ways around it.
I like the idea of father/daughter bonding, but why not just have a ball then, let the girls dress up accompanied by their Dads.
lol Ima, I could never be that bold with my father, but I would have probably found some delight in having the secret.

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Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. — Albert Einstein

I like the bonding thing do, but surely we must be able to come up with better activities than abstinence pledging-balls???

LOL, Doll. All through highschool I was a virgin, and the funny thing was, later on a few of my more promiscuous girlfriends would confide in my that they wished they'd "waited".

Besides, the guys at my school were gorillas. I wouldn't have bonked any of them had I been paid a million dollars.

lol, no kidding, especially wedding style ones, just yuck.
The one girl didn't plan on even kissing a boy until her wedding day?! I think thats kind of sad.

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Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. — Albert Einstein

This is one of the most ridiculous things I've heard lately... This is bullsh*t all the way. Regardless of what we promise our parents we're going to do whatever we want without then even knowing. I strongly believe this type of craziness is what makes teens do stupid sh*t behind their parent's back... I disagree 100% with this...

And let's be hones: would you be thrilled if you fell in love with someone who bluntly REFUSED to kiss you until you're wedding day?? My god!
And most of us will have noticed that in comparison to our first experiences, sex has gotten a whole lot better (or was that just me? ), so these girls won't know what hit them after the wedding night (no pun inteded with the hitting)

But torn there's absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin, au contraire! But I had sex for the first time in high school, after I had been with that boy for almost a year, and we're still together now (3 years and counting). I honestly think that he's the man I'll marry, so I don't see the point in waiting till we're actually married. I just think everyone should have sex only when they are really ready for it, really want it and are with someone who loves them and whom they love. IMO, marriage has little to do with it.

tor I mean, not torn, that was a typing error

lol, love the pun, and no, it wasn't just you!
I don't mean to suggest that holding onto your virginity is a bad thing. But dating and/or kissing a boy is a far cry from having sex. And I wouldn't stay with a guy who wouldn't kiss me until our wedding day! Like wtf?

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Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. — Albert Einstein

LOL, Doll...some people call me Torn, it's fine. No, there's nothing wrong with being a virgin. That's what I'm saying. But I remained one for ME. Peer pressure was a joke to me. If someone tried to talk me into doing something I didn't want to do, I'd tell them straight out to go stick it.

I kinda liken the whole wedding-virginity pledge thing to peer pressure, too. You're allowing people to influence you & cloud your own judgment. Like freaking power of attorney, only with sex! I cannot for one second imagine going up to my own father and saying, "Daddy, my virginity to thee I pledge..." Eeeeeeeeeeeew. That's insane!

Good point about this being a version of peer pressure Tor.

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Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. — Albert Einstein

Just a passing thought:

If a girl is deeply religious, it seems perfectly acceptable (to me) for that person to pledge their virginity to their Heavenly Father, until they marry.

But to pledge their virginity to their earthly father strikes me as a whole new species of creepy. (But that's just me. . .)

Oh, and what about the BOYS' part in all this? Is it still a double standard that boys are allowed (and expected!) to mess around, but girls are vilified for it? (There is equal responsibility amongst sexes, for goodness sake!)

(But I didn't read the article, so I do not know if that was addressed.)

In a way, nonny, that's what I meant by making your own decision. If someone is religious and it feels right for them to wait until marriage, I totally support that!
But a girl's virginity is her own posession, not her father's or her husband's, not even god's. She can, however, decide for herself that she wants to pledge it to any of those three (however to me only god seems acceptable )

Easier to ask for forgiveness from your heavenly father too. Earthly ones tend to get mad and call names until cooler heads prevail.

And for some reason this time around I have the 13 yr old giggles over the phrase purity balls.. heheheheeeeeeeeee

Mine didn't talk to me for days after I first spent the night at my BF's house. And I did ask his permission to stay over and he gave it! I guess it's even harder on fathers to see their little girls grow up than it is on mothers? I still don't approve of ignoring your seventeen year old for a week though

lol IMA

The boys part wasn't addressed. It was about the whole pledging thing, but it did address sex ed in the states vs teen pregnancies, and also all those movements rallying for abstinence (true love waits and so). It showed that STD's aren't going down, and that 80 percent (if I recall correctly) breaks their vow and does have sex before marriage. I suggest everyone reads the article! It was a real good one. it also pointed out that for a lot of girls, it was just about the dress and the party, they didn't really seem to grasp what their pledge contained.

While you guys read and talk about this, I'm off to bed! (time difference, not my afternoon nap) This is a really interesting toppic though, and as soon as I wake up I'll be reading your comments! Sweet dreams!

Purity balls. ((giggles))

"But Daddy, he said that he had purity balls, too -- and that it would be okay."

lmao, Purity Balls....on that note, I'm off girls!
Have a great weekend!

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Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. — Albert Einstein

This is sick behavior, whats up with people! It is so damn sick

I don't know. From reading the article it sounds like Glamour coined the "pledge your virginity to your father" phrase. From the quotes by the people involved, I'm reading the purpose as Dad pledging to protect his daughter's purity (which sounds freaking midieval, I agree) and daughter pledging herself to purity. Which to me, is a world apart from promising your viriginity to your father.

And, really doesn't seem a whole lot different than what most fathers feel. I mean, there was a reason I could spend the night at my girlfriends' houses and not my boyfriend's house.

I do think this whole Purity Ball is really hokey. And totally overkill. And probably not any more effective than an attentive father who has a close bond with his daughter and tries to teach her the morals he believes in.

But, I don't really think it's creepy. I think a Dad who doesn't really care what his daughter does with herself is creepier than these guys.

Now, the fact that a lot of these girls were 19, 25, etc... was a little odd.

Jen I agree on the point about the dads that dont care being worse. But to me its far worse the dads that care TOO much. Enough to go through this crazy ritual, to me it looks like a ritual.

It`s ok to protect your girl when she's a tween or young teen but after 18 going through is very creepy. I get all types of incest vibes from this.

Yah, after 18 it's a little odd, in my book. But, your child is your child for life. And people who are very religous and feel very strongly about pre-marital sex would presumably feel like the "purity" of a 19 year old unmarried girl was as important as that of a younger child.

I don't get an incest vibe from this, personally. And I think the pictures are cute, not creepy. I think we oversexualize the relationship between fathers and daughters in this country and it's too bad. I get the feeling that lots of people feel affection is inappropriate between fathers and older daughters and that's sad.

I think it is very odd...Why does a 25 year old woman need to promise not to have sex, to her DAD? That is ridiculous.

I thought I was the only one that didn't find it creepy, and Jen you worded it the best.

I totally agree with over sexualizing this, it's almost a little sick that someone would insinuate that about a daughter and father when it's just their religion.

I am very close to my dad, weve always been that way. There is no problem at all with daughters and dads being close, but in my book when they go into sexual talk and promising to save themselves to their dads it IS SICK

Layla, worst things have happened, dont be blind because paternal incest happens more than people think.

This is creepy anyway you cut it

I guess everyone is entitled to their own comfort zones. But, the vows the father and the daughter are taking - as it's written in the article - are to God not to each other.